Category: 1

I've got all I need to know about you if:

You and your significant other wear matching t-shirts that say "I'm with stupid" and "Stupid". (It's really, truly NOT funny.)

You roll up your t-shirt sleeves around a pack of smokes, and you are not Marlon Brando or James Dean. ( Exception allowed for Brando or Dean Halloween costumes -- and that's it. )

You roll up your t-shirt sleeves at all. (Have you really that little style sense? How about a pulse?!)

You wear (or even own) a t-shirt with an arrow pointing to your beer gut that says "Made in the USA". (Proud of that flab, are ya?)

Ladies, you wear super low-cut boob shirts and super high-cut miniskirts at the same time. (Either/or might be okay -- if you're in shape and below age 35. But both together? Super-cali-fragi-Jerseylicious, no matter your age.)

You still wear a “Frankie Say Relax” t-shirt, and not for its throwback, vintage’y hipness (mostly because it doesn’t have any).

You wear anything that has the words "…and all I got was this lousy t-shirt" on it. (You do realize that just because someone bought you that, doesn't mean you have to actually wear it?)

You wear (or for that matter, own) a t-shirt that says "the only good cat is a dead cat". Honestly, you don't have to love cats, or even have pets at all. But to proudly proclaim that level of hate for an animal pretty solidly tells me all I need to know about you. And it's not good.
Guys, you wear your "dress shirts" unbuttoned all the way down to your navel. (Hairy or smooth chest, jewelry or no jewelry, six pack abs or not, for the love of god, men, please don't do this!)

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